Stop Worry From Stealing Your Joy: Positive Mindset 101
One minute you’re beaming at your kids, the next you’re convinced their future is dangling by dental floss. Welcome to worry’s spiral…
Picture this: I'm sipping tea before bed, smiling ear to ear, thinking about my incredible daughters at a music concert they've been looking forward to for months — dressed up, singing, laughing, and (miracle of miracles) actually loving spending time together. I'm thrilled they're old enough to drive themselves, as technically two are "adults" now.
My heart swells with joy — togetherness, music, fun, freedom.
Yessss! My babies are out there in the world, spreading their wings!
Then… without warning… 💀 my brain flips the channel.
⬇️ What if they get in a car accident on the way home?
🌪️ What if something terrible happens and they never walk back through that door again?
In three seconds flat, I've gone from they're thriving to they're dying.
Welcome to worry's death spiral. 😵💫
Maybe you, like me, can relate to such doomsday thoughts. 🙃
✦ Why Worry Is Wasted Energy (and How to Let Go)
Most of what you worry about is nothing more than wasted energy. Think about it…
Nine times out of ten, you're worried about something.
🤦🏽♀️ Unlikely to actually happen.
🤷🏼♀️ Completely outside your control.
So why waste your precious energy with worry? Because — believe it or not — worry meets some of your needs, such as…
✧ Certainty: Life feels uncertain, but one thing you can always count on? You can worry. (Worry is the one habit that never shows up late or is difficult to reach.)
✧ Variety: There's always a different flavor of worry — like ice cream. What will it be today? Money? Kids? Health? Relationships? So many 'flavors' to scoop from.
✧ Connection: Because worry means you're engaging with your thoughts and emotions, even though it's disempowering, it can help you feel connected to your inner self.
No wonder you, like me, reach for worry so often!
The way out? Shifting to a positive mindset via three straightforward doorways: Physiology, Focus, and Meaning.
Full credit to renowned personal development coach, Tony Robbins, for these three doorways — I just added the stories, snacks, and dance breaks. 😉
✦ Physiology: How to Use Your Body as a Mood Booster
Ever been in a funk and then your favorite song comes on? Suddenly, you're dancing in the kitchen, spatula-microphone in hand, giving a full-blown concert to the fridge.
On a deep internal level, your body and mind are in constant conversation.
Sometimes the fastest way out of worry is through your body. That's your physiology at work!
When you move differently, you feel differently, giving you a burst of joy in seconds.
Think back to when you were a kid — what did you do for fun?
🥰 Jumping jacks in the backyard.
😄 Bouncing on a trampoline until you collapse, giggling.
😁 Skipping down the sidewalk just because it felt fun.
Why not try jumping, bouncing, and skipping again? Bonus points if the neighbors stare. 😉
Or keep it simple:
🫁 Breathe deep — and blow out imaginary candles on your exhale!
😊 Smile big — like you just won the lottery… or at least free guac.
⬆️ Stand tall — shoulders back like you’re about to get knighted.
🎉 Whoop loud — arms in the air like your team just scored the winning goal.
Simple yet incredibly effective, these are all instant mood boosters — your secret hack to reset into a positive mindset and cut worry off before it spirals. (And I'll let you in on my personal favorite in just a minute…)
✦ Focus: Mental Shifts That Build a Positive Mindset
Your focus is like the remote control of your emotions. Whatever channel you flip to, that's what you feel.
📺 Flip to the Worry Channel ➡️ It's doom, disaster, and reruns of every mistake you've ever made (in HD, with surround sound).
📺 Flip to the Joy Channel ➡️ Suddenly, you're laughing at a playful puppy video, marveling at a wonder in nature, or smiling as you think of your full-grown babies out in the world, spreading their wings.
The outside world hasn't changed — just the channel you're tuned into.
How do you stay tuned into the Joy Channel and not give worry so much airtime? With your focus.
Wherever your focus goes,
your feelings follow.
Focus on…
✧ What you can control
✧ What's going right
✧ What you already have
And release (let go of)…
✧ What you can’t control
✧ What's going wrong
✧ What feels missing
🚫 Friendly Reminder: You cannot control…
ⓧ What others think, feel, or believe.
ⓧ Actions or reactions of others.
ⓧ Weather, traffic, how you were raised, or time (past/future).
⚡️ Here's what you can control — YOU:
✓ Your thoughts.
✓ Your feelings.
✓ Your beliefs.
✓ Your words.
✓ Your actions.
So flip the channel: focus on what you can control and what’s already good — it’s a speedy way to tune into your positive mindset.
✦ Meaning: The Story You Choose Makes All the Difference
When it comes to worry, it's often not the event itself that shapes how you feel, but the story you attach to it.
Case in point: there I was, in an uber-cool spot in Miami Beach. Surrounded by world-renowned street murals, swaying palm trees, and… buckets of rain. ☹️☔️
Sloshing through puddles in flip-flops I'd bought only moments earlier (no way was I sacrificing my leather Birkenstocks) and battling an umbrella with a mind of its own — ugh! I instantly labeled the rain under "vacation ruined" and was fuming.
The forecast promised a sunny day — how could this be happening?!
Meanwhile, my family was living a totally different story, one labeled "spontaneous family adventure." Totally unfazed by the rain-soaked day, my daughters splashed through puddles, hand in hand, happily chatting away, as my calm and collected husband led us indoors to the nearest café like it was no big deal.
🌧️ Same rainy day.
🩴 Same soggy shoes.
🤯 But wow, how differently we experienced it.
That's the power of meaning!
The power is meaning is that nothing means anything until you give it meaning. The best part? You get to choose!
✧ You can label rain as "vacation ruined"… or as "unexpected adventure."
✧ You can label your morning coffee as "just caffeine"… or as "liquid optimism in a mug."
✧ You can label a challenge as "proof you're failing"… or as "evidence you're growing."
⚠️ Warning: worry doesn't always knock politely at the door and ask permission to steal joy from your day. Nope — sometimes it barges in, flops on your couch, steals the remote, and eats all your snacks. Total takeover! 💥
When that happens, shifting your focus can feel impossible. And that's when you need a practical tool to break worry's death grip on your day — and at lightning speed if possible, am I right?
So here's exactly what I do when worry barges in and pulls rank. It's my secret ninja move — and yes, you can use it to flip back to the Joy Channel, too!
✦ The Ninja Move That Turns Worry Into Wonder
So what do I actually do when worry barges in, plops itself on the couch, and refuses to leave?